Sunday, February 26, 2012

Follow-up in the New York Post on Deborah Feldman

A tiny follow-up article in the New York Post, after that vicious article this month in the same paper.

 Some quotes from that article:

A gal who ditched her hubby and ultra-Orthodox Satmar community in Brooklyn left behind a trail of broken hearts and hurt feelings to pen a controversial yarn.
Deborah Feldman, 25, says she was choked by an antiquated religion and trapped in a loveless marriage — but that's news to her husband, Joel Feldman, who friends and family say is “shattered” by the damning memoir.
“She was crazy about this boy,” Feldman's uncle, Izzy Berkowitz, 58, told The Post. “She was dying to get married.
“He did everything and anything for her, but she never appreciated anything no matter what he did,” Berkowitz insisted. “She lacked happiness. Nothing was good enough for her.”
“He feels betrayed," said an old friend of the jilted pop. “She wasn't forced to marry him. They were madly in love.”
Pearl Engelman, 64, a neighbor of Feldman's when she lived in Williamsburg, blasted the author.
“It paints the whole community in a bad light,” Engelman said. “We¶re in an uproar. We feel insulted. I think she's a lost soul.
I have to underscore that this article is fair, as it also has Deborah's side of the story... (#gallowshumor.)

I commend this honest reporter, Gary Buiso. He did his job as a reporter with the limited space that his editors made available for this story.


  1. I wonder why the story and facts surrounding the separation of Joel from Deborah during their marriage and how it was Deborah that has begged - to the point of almost harassing and stalking - Joel to take her back and give her one more chance, was left out from the book.

    I suggest investigative reporters to focus on this story too, as it will clearly refute her claims that she didn't choose Joel. Perhaps not at first, but for sure when she's cried to him and asked for his return.

  2. A comment sent to USA Today, on her review page. Pray they accept it. Source:

    By Tracey

    I only read the book, so that I could see for myself, with my own eyes, and not just listen to what everyone was talking about. I was completely shocked at the inconsistencies, that show throughout the entire book. It really was written well, coming from a women who says she only got a very, so she says, miniscule education. She wrote how she didn't know anything about the " outside world", and yet she writes, in a childish manor, how many times she ran to the library, and how she would sneak books under her mattress. Another confusing part, was how she "ran" from Williamsburg, and from Satmar, but when she left she was living in suburbia, in Rockland county, with her husband and son, and even drove a car, which is common up there. I would not suggest this book to anyone, unless of course it was changed to a fiction, and instead of being her experience as a, very young and innocent, woman it would say what she thought about herself. I pity how she grew up, in a way, but, as a published writer myself, I wouldn't and never have, written a tell all book about how the people, in my personal life, have hurt me, and then use slander against my religion. It was very confusing, being that I have Chassidik friends of my own, who go out, have normal lives, enjoy their husbands and even drive cars. In every religion there are all types of people, fanatics, liberals, conservatives and your average NORMALS. The Orthodox Jewish Community, including the Chassidik Community, is a very large, and multicultural, type of people, and there are hundreds of thousands of them, all over the world. Can you say, without a doubt, that ALL of them, even a large percent, are as fanatic as she describes? Sure there are plenty of Chassidik, men and woman, who can't handle the way their lives are and change to a different way of life, that fits them. But most of them, including my friends, don't go and reject their Jewish Roots by throwing all of the traditions away. Being Ultra Chassidik is a choice and way of life, and is not meant for everyone, that doesn't mean that everyone who feels cheated should go out and spit on the ones who DO want to be this way, and should be very careful not to put down anyone, on both sides of the coin, the ones who want to be different and the ones who don't have a problem with being fanatic. I do believe, correct me if I'm wrong, that we are living in the USA, a land that gives everyone the CHOICE to live the way they want, without being judged, BY ANYONE. The only people, in my opinion, and in many others as well, that hurt Mrs. Feldman, was her own family, basically her mother, for abandoning her, at such a crucial time, and herself, for not being honest about who she really wanted to be. Otherwise the exaggerations in the book, in regards to the "Family Purity Laws" which I know first hand, being Orthodox myself, make no sense. There are so many Modern Orthodox women, who wear jeans, even where I live, and they keep this law, even before keeping, strict, Kosher laws, and after asking some of my friends about the other private issues, they told me, that they were all fine and satisfied, to say the least, and said that ALL newly married couples, Jewish or not, have a lot to learn, when it comes to their "needs". I hope that her next book, if it comes out soon, has more accurate information. If not, I, or a few of my colleagues, wouldn't mind coming out with an Adult version of the REAL truth about being orthodox, and giving it to our children upon marriage. Truthfully yours, Tracey Schechter