Have You No Sense of Decency, Ma'am?!

What a terrible and horrible person Deborah Feldman is to do this to another human being.

Her husband is the kindest person on earth. He treated her like a princess. I spoke to many of their neighbors and friends. Everyone confirms that he was taking her abuse like a gentleman. She was never happy, always complained, made up stories. He always did whatever he could to satisfy her, even though she was never satisfied.

In her book she claims that when her husband invited his brothers for Shabbos she was like the slave of the house; She would do all the cooking and cleaning, but was disregarded and made to feel invisible, because she is a woman. (But of course she contradicts herself in other sections of the book where she describes vividly her conversations with her brothers-in-law. She even served the role of a mental health counselor with one brother-in-law who was very depressed after being rejected by a girl he proposed - which itself contradicts other parts of her fairy tale.) This is the woman Deborah was (and probably still is) always complaining about something and never happy. Her husband had a difficult job to deal with her but he wanted to make their marriage work.

One of their mutual friends told me that her husband actually,

"...left her during their marriage at one point because he couldn't take her behavior anymore. Whatever that behavior was - no, its not limited to religious matters but rather for her human behavings or lack of. ... Devorah - on her own will and choice - has called and begged - to the point of harrasment and stalking - her then husband to return to her and give her one more chance to which he obliged."

Her accusations that her husband was a sexual freak sound preposterous to all her old friends who were privy to her gossiping. One neighbor from Airmont writes to us,

"Deborah once shared with me that in the beginning of her marriage she had a hard time with sex because she was molested as a child. She said she was in therapy for several years dealing with her issues. She mentioned that her husband was extremely understanding, never forcing her to have sex, always waiting for her to be in the mood. This is not the way she portrays it in the book."

The relatives that I'm speaking to, including but not limited to her own family members, confirm this to me.

"At one point, as her problems with intimacy were at their lowest point, Deborah had announced to certain family members that she and her husband will no longer be husband and wife but remain two good friends living together. She did not have a child at the time, she had given up on her being able to go to bed with her husband, but she was still holding on to to this man as a friend! This confirms what we all know: her husband is a charming, fun-loving and gentle man. And Deborah knew it then as she knows it now."

(By the way, here's another of her contradictions; She also claims that her husband was ultra-ultra-ultra orthodox and followed some very strict rules when having intimate relationships with her. So Deborah, make up your mind, which of your versions are true. Was it a pitch-dark-and-no-looking kind of relationship or was it before-going-to-work-to-make-him-feel-good relationship?)

Now here is a fact that pains me to the core of my heart and this is the reason for writing this post:

Deborah's husband was a GREAT father to his child. That boy meant everything in the world for him. The bond between father and son was especially close. He played with that boy. He was never too busy to spend time with his boy. The husband was made to babysit the boy every other night when she went out partying with friends and did who knows what. She dumped her son on her husband for two months when she traveled to California. She trusted her "abusive" husband with her son for two months!


For her to take away the boy from his father is bad enough, but to destroy the reputation of  this gentle soul with such a viciousness is unfathomable.


Just read what a person who was close to the family writes:

In this article: "Feldman left the marriage with her infant son in tow [...] who she says never even asks about his father."

Knowing Yitzy (not anymore an infant son, now the yummiest little fella) and his doting father, having watched this father care for his son through our million playdates, through the entire summer (entirely on his own -- with a broken arm), through hell and high waters... when I read quotes like the one in this article my heart breaks. This misrepresentation of a father is a tragedy not only for [the husband] who has been very wronged, but for every woman who really does deal with an abusive/neglectful husband and whose own stories will never be believed in the same way again.

How a person can be so cruel to do this to another human being is just beyond me.

Many reporters can attest to the fact that they tried to reach out to the husband in order to sensationalize the story even further, but he rejected every single opportunity, so far, to talk to the media, even though he was victimized by her, time and again, and she is still treating him with an enourmous amount of viciousness. The only reason he refrains from talking to the media is because he loves his son, and does not want to hurt this little boy any more.

I would like to end this post with a famous quote.

Dear Deborah Feldman,

"Let us not assassinate this lad further, ... You have done enough. Have you no sense of decency ... at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?"